Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Anders Jallén
This webpage concerns my piece "I Could Laugh, I Could Cry", written for 2 pianos. Listen to an excerpt of the music and download the full pdf (below).
... is an attempt to put to music *that moment* when we feel that we don't know if we should laugh or cry. Or both. To capture and express that moment in music.
As in... something you could not control happened which caused your whole situation to become a disaster, or else you did something which came out wrong. Even so and either way some unforeseable other situation became the joyous result of whatever it was that went wrong. Or else... you did everything the way it was supposed to be and it became what you wanted, but then it turned out everything went to pieces anyway.
While you grieve the one you also enjoy the other... this music is about *the moment* when those two feelings have a simultaneous hold of you... we have all experienced that sometimes, many times. Being thrown from the one to the other feeling, when you could laugh or you could cry simultaneously, and you don't know what to do about it. That is the [giocoso / doloroso] in this piece. And in the midst of that you also feel completely lost... those are the musical phrases ending up in nothingness, like if you jump and find out gravitation just dissappeard from under your feet. At such moments you may also be very angry, at times perhaps even uncontrollably angry... so those are the "furioso" parts.
All of those feelings being a part of each of our lives. I tried to describe it in music in this way, off and on working on this piece for several years. The title "I Could Laugh, I Could Cry" presented itself to me when I had temporarily retreatad to focus on my writing, in October 2019, in Banyuls-sur-Mer (south of France).
As for me, until now I did Laugh... and I did Cry... quite a lot of both... and I would prefer the both to the neither.
About 7 - 8 minutes long
Feel free to listen to a 2 minute's excerpt from the middle of the piece